The bear and the Hunter
A hunter goes into the woods hunting for a bear. When he is deep in the woods he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns to see an enormous grizzly towering above him. Before he can fire, the beast rips the rifle out of his hands and proceeds to sodomize him. Mortified, the hunter retreats to his cabin, arms himself with a double-barrelled shotgun, and races back into the woods to find and kill his furry assailant. But once again, the bear sneaks up behind the hunter, pulls the weapon from his hands and has his lusty way with him. Undeterred, the hunter equips himself with a machine gun and treks back into the woods where he is again ambushed, disarmed and defiled by the bear. Now, apoplectic with moral outrage, the hunter flies to a third world country where he buys a heat-seeking, shoulder-launched, nuclear-tipped rocket from an international arms dealer. Convinced he finally has the upper hand, he returns to the woods, tracks the bear to his lair and patiently waits to vaporize him. And yes, again, the bear surprises, disarms and sexually assaults him. But this time, before the hunter can run off to acquire more lethal armaments, the bear enfolds him in his massive arms and says, "You don't really come out here to hunt, do ya?"
Well, that's the joke. Take from it what you will with one caveat: The moral is not "beware of homosexual bears."
Labels: bear, hunter, hunting, joke
Fuck the fuck
Fuck the fuck, fuck fucking gravity, fuck MS Pinball! And fuck you too. Fuck all ye all!
Jebo!
"Jebo ti jeza u ledja" Literally it's "Fuck a hedgehog's back"
Blumkin!
| Blumpkin:
|
|
| The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump. |
The Yangbajing tunnel
The Yangbajing tunnel is a 3,345-meters long railway tunnel on the Qingzang railway (Qinghai–Xizang railway) which links Xining with Lhasa across the high Tibetan Plateau of north-east China. It is 4,264 meters above sea level and located 80 kilometres NW of the Tibetan regional capital, Lhasa. I thought you might find this interesting!
Labels: china, rail, random, stub, travel
Flaming Dr Pepper
How to make a Flaming Dr Pepper.
You will need:
* 3/4 fl oz (22 ml) Amaretto
* 1/4 fl oz (7 ml) Overproofed Rum (eg. Bacardi 151 or Cruzan 151)
* 8 fl oz (Half pint) (237 ml) Light lager beer (eg. Carlsberg) in a pint glass
Layer the Bacardi over the amaretto in a shot glass and ignite. Drop into the beer and drink quickly.
Labels: alcohol, cocktail, random
Cows
Cows are cool, here is a picture of some cows.
Simpsons quote...
My favourite Groundskeeper Willy quote:
"If elected mayor my first act will
be to kill the whole lot of ya, and
burn your town to cinders!"
from the Do as you feel episode.
Labels: quotes, simpsons, willy
Taken from http://www.tv.com
Media watchdog group says Fox, 24, Earl, American Dad biggest offenders of primetime profanity, violence.
Won't someone think of the children? Well, someone is, and they're pissed off at television.
The Parents Television Council has released the results of its latest look into the state of network prime-time television programming, and according to the nonprofit, TV is plagued with potty-mouths, soaked in sexually charged innuendo, and gushing with gratuitous violence.
The conservative group, which says its mission is "to promote and restore responsibility and decency to the entertainment industry," was scathing in its criticism of "family hour" programming. In a statement, PTC president Tim Winter said, "Our study clearly demonstrates that corporate interests have hijacked the Family Hour from families." Winter continued, "Shockingly, [the PTC's findings] shows that parents cannot trust what is on during the so-called Family Hour for even a minute."
The study looked at last season's programming (shows that aired in 2006 and 2007), and found that almost 90 percent of the 208 shows examined contained what the group calls objectionable content. It also claims that instances of profanity, violence, or sexual content occur once every three-and-a-half minutes during the first hour of prime time.
Which network is corrupting our children the most, according to the PTC? Hands down it's Fox, which at 20.78 instances of objectionable content each hour more than doubles its nearest competitor. The single worst show in the study was Fox's American Dad, with an average of 52 objectionable instances per hour.
On the other side of the spectrum, The CW was named "cleanest programming overall," and the PTC approved Deal or No Deal, Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader, Identity, and Grease: You're the One That I Want as "best overall due to lack of foul language, violence, and sexual content."
Individual leaders of controversial material include NBC's My Name is Earl with 16 instances of foul language per hour, Fox's The War at Home with 33 "sexual depictions of references" per hour, and Fox's 24 with "a whopping 28 occurrences of violence" per hour. The PTC did not explain its guidelines for what it counted as violent, sexual, or profane.
When compared to programming from 2001-2002, sexual references and violence rose 22 percent and 52 percent, respectively, whereas uncensored foul language actually dropped.
"The Family Hour needs to be restored," Winter said. "We are calling on the broadcast industry to return to the time-honored principle of airing mature-themed content only at later times of the evening; and to provide parents with a consistent, objective, and meaningful content-ratings system."
My *%&ing Name is @#!* Earl, @*$!.">
American Dad--the worst show on television, according to PTC.">